HELP!!! MY WIFE, HER FRIEND AND HER MOTHER ARE HAVING MY BABIES!

HELP!!! MY WIFE, HER FRIEND AND HER MOTHER ARE HAVING MY BABIES!
I have been married for a couple of years now and during the time I was courting my wife, I met her mum on a different platform, even before she introduced me to her as her mother.

I had been called upon by a colleague of mine to execute one quantity survey job for a lady, upon meeting the lady; we both hit it of straight.

One thing led to another, and it became ‘I love you, you love me’. In the course of doing the job, before we knew it we were doing it for months. At a point it dawned on us that we should call it quit, especially for my sake at that time, because I needed to settle down. I told her about and she refused and put up very stiff resistant slept, I had to assure her that my being married will not stop us from continuing our love beats, she relaxed after making me promise her to keep to my words.

Soon after, I stopped by tantalizer at Ahmadu Bello way in V/I to get a quick bite, that was where I met this very beautiful lady, whose dress got stuck in the way as we entered. I helped her pull the dress free and she was very appreciative of it. We got on the queue and struck up a conversation, to my greatest surprise, she was my ex girlfriend who had traveled to the U.S. on the auspice of her mum, to live and school with her mum’s sister because she was turning into a radical in Nigeria. I was shocked. What a transformation! She had grown up and blown up into a full lady with all the curve in the proper places. Come and see drama in Tantalizer on that day. People who were standing in front and behind us almost ran out of their skins when they heard her scream so loud, upon realizing that I was the one. She screamed, cried, laughed and jump all over me. We left tantalizer, leaving the food we had come there to buy.

In the course of time I discovered that she had come back home fully to assume her full management position in her mother’s business having graduated from the university of Oregon. I was impressed. But everything fell apart when she told me who her mother was Chief Dr. Mrs … . My jaw dropped to the floor, she noticed my shock and I quickly gave a very good reason for that. After many attempts to get me to meet her mum which I had turned down, she eventually persuaded me. On the day I met the mum, the mum almost died. She played along and even went ahead to tell her daughter that I was one of her consultants and welcomed me very well. We had dinner, I left, just as I was driving out of her home a call came in, and she instructed me to meet her an hour later at our usual place. I knew yawa don gas. When I got there, I tried to explain to her that her daughter had been my girlfriend way back when she was still a teenager, before she left for the U.S. She refused to hear me out and asked me to stop the relationship immediately or be ready to lose her daughter, herself and most importantly my consulting contract with her firm.

I told her I am ready to do that, under the condition that she told her daughter the reason why I was breaking up with her daughter—that I should not be held responsible for the action her daughter would take if I told her. She refused and I told her she left me with no choice but to forge on with her daughter. She later backed down and extracted a promise from me to continue our live triangle, as the bad boy that I was, I promised and she accepted me both as her son-in-law and as her lover. On the day of the wedding when everything had been put in place, Emily (NOT REAL NAME), my wife’s friend from the U.S. who had come home to be her maid of honour had stopped by my house to drop off something from my wife-to-be for me. Before I knew what was happening one thing led to another and we had a long rump.

This took place three more times before the wedding when my wife and I walked down the isle and made our vows. We have been married for one and half years now. My wife started becoming uncomfortable with my closeness to her mum. When we visit her mum on some weekends, her mum will take me up to her room for minutes on end. Her explanations to her daughter come was that she was having private talks with me until one day when my wife read a text in my phone in which her mum had told me to meet her somewhere. My wife started asking questions but I put her off and told her she was imagining things. She accepted my explanation because she could not picture her smooth, classy upright minded husband go to the extent of having anything to do with her mum, much more sleep with her. Until, one day Imelda called my wife from the U.S. and told her she was pregnant, my wife was very happy for her friend. From my calculations, the pregnancy was the result of our rump together. When my wife told me about it, she was all smiling and full of prayers for her friend. I looked at her and almost cried and wished I had not betrayed my wife who has dedicated her life and entire self to me since we reconnected and got married. I felt she did not deserve my wickedness… However, I did not know how to confess my sins to her. They were too much. I was afraid my confession could kill her and affect her condition, as she was pregnant at that time too. So I laid it off…!!!

Now she put to bed just about 5 weeks ago and had me a very beautiful boy, 3 days after my wife delivered, her friend Imelda also delivered a baby boy. She said will be coming home with the baby when the doctor gives her the go-ahead that she can travel with the child. My wife is happy about it and said she wants to see the baby and see if he looks more like her or the father; the father my wife has not seen. Imelda sent me a picture of the child and wrote and I quote …, ’’The result of my secret deal with the daddy, he looks much like the daddy.’’

Now she is coming back in a matter of two weeks with the child to show her people and my wife. What should I do to stop her? Should I confess to my wife or allow things play out themselves and manage the crisis when it breaks.

My wife’s mother also called me yesterday and told me she is feeling funny, like having early morning sickness…….you know what that means too!! MY LIFE IS CRASHING AROUND ME WITH FULL SPEED. I NEED YOUR HELP!! ANYBODY WITH A GOOD ADVISE AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO NOW…. PLEASE TELL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!
Culled from nairaland.com

OPINION POLL

OPINION POLL
1) The exit of Alhaji Atiku Abubakar from the Action Congress (AC) is a great disaster for the opposition parties in Nigeria. YES OR NO.
2) On your first your first date, can you ask your spouse about his/her HIV status?

THE RETURN OF THE GOON

THE RETURN OF THE GOON
Nigeria, my Nigeria. O Nigeria! What fate seems to be thy lot now? This is the kind of question that comes to one’s mind at such times as this. Never mind the fact that my fleeting hands have chosen to become poetic. But the truth remains that when it seems that language of ordinary discourse is inept at description, poetic language takes the centre-stage. However, this write-up is not about language, it is about the return of a certain figure to active politicking. This person, in 1993, stabbed democracy. Nonetheless, as a result of the fact that Nigeria is a country where people are always too quick to forget that which they are supposed to remember, this goon is already planning to return to the polity. What a sad tale! Of course, by now if you are conversant with the Nigerian story, you should know this person is.
In 1993, the freest, fairest and most credible election that has ever been held in Nigeria was annulled by Ibrahim Babangida (IBB). This annulment came on the heels that some men in khaki believed that Nigeria was not yet ripe to return to democracy. This khaki-man dragged the inalienable right of many Nigerians to vote and be vote for to the mud. This enemy of democracy denied honorable Nigerians the right to enjoy the fruits of their unity. Using all these points and more as the premises for argument, the next questions to ask is: Having clearly shown that he is an enemy of democracy, why is IBB all out to defend the democracy he strived to kill?
There is a religious principle called forgiveness. Should IBB be forgiven? Some have said that IBB is now “born again”, so he should be allowed to contest. Besides, other supporters of IBB said that he, like every other Nigerian, has the right to contest since it is his right to vote and be voted for. In as much the supporters of IBB may have their points, it is apt to notify them that their perspective is, by and large, parochial. The fact that there is any religious term like forgiveness does not mean that Nigerians will be willing to forgive IBB. Besides, in religious parlance, before sins are forgiven, there must be confession. Thus, if IBB will ever think of been forgiven, he must be able to humble himself by coming to publicly ask for forgiveness from the entire Nigerian populace. However, it is important to note that even the holy books acknowledge the fact that certain sins cannot be forgiven. How will you expect the family of those that unjustly fell under the sword of the military administration of IBB to ever forgive him for maiming their loved ones.
Another issue the coming back of IBB raises is that it seems he wants to adapt the ‘do-or-die’ ideology of politics that was the brainchild of OBJ. One wonders why IBB would want to choose to rule Nigeria under the platform of PDP. Why didn’t he choose some other parties? Why PDP? Of course, the answer to this question is in itself.
Nigeria, as a country is in a very delicate situation. This time in the history of this nation will be one that will make or mar the future of Nigeria. There is just one piece of advice I have for Nigerians: SHINE YOUR EYES. Do not be deceived by anyone who refused to redeem this nation when he was at the helms of affairs. Oppose the idea of recycling politicians. Nigeria has more than enough number of people who can turn around the fortune of this nation. Vote for the right person. Never say your vote does not count, it does. Even if they rig the election, there is still hope in the election tribunal. The election tribunal needs your vote in order to mark down election riggers. Once again, Nigerians – Great Ife students – SHINE YOUR EYES. Spread the word. GOD BLESS NIGERIA. Did I hear you say AMEN? Yes AMEN.


Mahatma Honey

… the great soul …

UTME CANDIDATE SPEAKS

Examinations are meant to be avenues through which individual capacities, mental prowess and behavioral patterns are identified. To this end, on Saturday 17th of April 2010, the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME) took place across the federation. The SOCIOSCOPE correspondent, Niyi Itiola, sought the opinion of some candidates that wrote the exam on the OAU campus. Here are some of their comments:
SOCIOSCOPE: Hi, how was the exam?
Anonymous: I am hungry.
SOCIOSCOPE: Hungry?
Anonymous: I could not eat in the morning before the exam.
SOCIOSCOPE: Why?
Anonymous: Ha! I did not want jamb to jamm me.
SOCIOSCOPE: I hope that at the end UTME did not eventually jamm you
Anonymous: We jammed each other. Thank you. (She ran away.)


SOCIOSCOPE: Good Afternoon. Did you write the UTME exam today?
Femi Adekunle: Yes, of course.
SOC: Hope the exam was not too difficult?
Femi Adekunle: Well, I did my best although it was a bit difficult.

SOC: Good afternoon, ma. You came to write the UTME exam, is that true?
Gasali Sadiat: Yes sir.
SOC: You are a bit frank in your appearance, can you tell me why?
Gasali Sadiat: The questions were a little bit difficult, that’s the reason for the frank appearance.
SOC: Don’t worry, by God’s grace you will pass
Gasali Sadiat: Amen oh! Thank you.

SOC: How are you doing?
Bukky: I am feeling fine.
SOC: How was the exam?
Bukky: I found it too easy, as easy as ABC.
SOC: So, I should be expecting you to come for the Post-UTME exam
Bukky: Yes, of course; so that I can become a doctor.

SOC: I can see you are full of smiles
Bode Makinde: Yes, I am because I just finished writing JAMB. I found this easier, compared to the former ones.
SOC: Does that mean that you will certainly become an OAU undergraduate in some months’ time?
Bode Makinde: By God’s grace, I will be.

SOC: Good afternoon ma, hope there is no problem?
Bisoye: Good afternoon,I hope there is no problem.
SOC: No problem, but did you just write the UTME exam?
Bisoye: Do I look like someone who is here to do that?
SOC: You are not answering my question.
Bisoye: Is it because you have noticed that I am holding a question paper?
SOC: Not at all, I hope writing UTME was not a criminal offence.
Bisoye: Well, it is not.
SOC: How was the exam?
Bisoye: I did my best
SOC: What course do you want to do?
Bisoye: I filled in Medicine.
SOC: I hope that in some months’ time, I will see you in your lab coat.
Bisoye: Yes, of course. Thank you, Mr Questionnaire.

Deaf-I-nation

Definition or deaf-i-nation
Few Lilliputians loot the lot
Leggedise or mercideze
Pen-thiefry, gun-totting, little-magics
All are i-know-cent
Scent the per-fume of perfidy

Electorate or selectorate
I caste my vote
Cos they kount not
They miss-manage me
The deaf-i-nation of Iwuruwuru

The lid-her-ship is a lie-on
Lie-ing to the fall-o-our-ship
Our shep-heard is deaf
The peep-le have no eyes
They only have I’s

The divination of a deaf-i-nation
They prey to the almight-HE
They fate tie-hard faith
Prayer is power-FOOL
Change is power-FULL

Written by Olofinlua Oyindamola